Time after time again, as relationships try and fail (as they sometimes do) I've always tried to remain cordial with exes. Hell, some of them are my best friends. Others.. Well we are friendly, but it’s just better for us to not be active in each other's lives. Usually for unresolved issues, questions about would we or wouldn't we in a different place or time, sometimes you just realize you and the person really had zero in common. Whatever. We all have our reasons. It just always was better to move on, and send a postcard. After all, you can't have a perfect future if your past is always present. How's that for a grammar lesson?
If you dig deep enough you could find dirt on just about any one. But why soil your chance at a legit future? Particularly the question of "numbers."
So this buddy of mine comes to me in a panic over the girl he has been seeing because he finds out she was bragging about..uh.. "played Scrabble" with a lot of people in Collegetown, USA.
I know you're probably saying.. “Dude, Scrabble is just a fun game. Everyone’s doing it.” Yeah, of course everyone's doing it, it's just one of those basic instincts that kicks in during our teenage years, and becomes our addiction for years to come, the Holy Grail in a quest to find the perfect Scrabble opponent.
Some search their entire lives for the "one" worthy Scrabble opponent, while others will play with just about anyone for fear of being lonely, or to get their rocks off.
So that night, when Cliché A$$hole BBM’d me (that would be ‘Chasing Amy’). Our conversation went something like this:
Cliché A$$hole: So I asked her what her “number” was.
Chasing Amy: Bro… what were you thinking??... :::slaps forehead:::
Cliché A$$hole: I dunno dude. But.. she admitted it. So, we broke up.
Chasing Amy: Could it have really been that bad dude?.. Was it worth breaking up for? I mean, no one is perfect…
Cliché A$$hole: She made me look like an amateur, and I’m not exactly a saint. She definitely holds the high score on this one.
Chasing Amy: "High score? What does that mean? Did she break it?” Sorry.. couldn’t resist man. I really think the two of you just need time to think this through. Is this really worth losing her over???
But for C.A., there was no thinking. He had already made up his mind. Repulsed by her awesome Scrabble playing abilities, he calls her a few choice words. She returns the favor, and minutes later.. Game over...
I began to ask myself.. was knowing the truth really all that important? Was knowing her number what defined her as a person? If he loved the girl, he'd love her unconditionally, no matter what her Scrabble high score was.
One thing’s for sure, one is still the loneliest number. While you always want to think you're different or special to your Scrabble opponent, you also have to remember they are human beings with egos, with vulnerability. No one's perfect, and if you're waiting around for the person that's still a scrabble virgin, well good luck with that. They only get harder to find as you get older.
So until you do, practice safe Scrabble, and always play by the rules especially when hearts are involved. Who knows.. That heart may one day be yours.
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