There Is “No Coffee”

We’ve all gotten that phone call: the one that sends your day into an utter tailspin. That.. “Why don’t we get together for coffee sometime” call. Sure from the outside, it may just seem like an innocent invite, but it’s the person on the other end of the phone that makes this call absolutely… awkward. Your Ex.

Did you hear it?.. That sound??.. Yeah, that was the sound of car brakes screeching to a halt, much like your heart rate, and the rest of the world… or at least yours. There’s nothing worse than a sneak attack, a phone call ambush. Just when you think you’ve gotten to the point where you can honestly say you’ve moved on and are finally picking up the pieces, one ring of the phone can upset the balance of your tiny little universe. Just like that.

What is so wrong with one little meeting?.. You were friends before you started dating. Besides, its just coffee. What harm could an hour of conversation over some overpriced Starbucks latte concoction really do?...

Then your voice of reason chimes in… with an angry bitch slap to the face. SLAP! (That’s gonna leave a mark.) Wake up Sterger!.. This isn’t about coffee. It was never about coffee. Hell, you don’t even DRINK coffee. This is something different all together. What harm could this little meeting cause, you ask??... Hm, I think they made a movie about it.. it’s called The Day After Tomorrow.

I know all this may sound a tad over dramatic, but for those of you who have been following the soap opera that has been my personal life over the past year or so, you can attest that my storyline has been the kind of material that wins Daytime Emmy Awards. (HA! Take that Susan Lucci!!!...) To say my last relationship was a tumultuous one, well.. that would be a vast understatement. There were so many lies, so many problems, and a finale so long and drawn out, that even the flying dog from the Neverending Story would have thrown up his paws and said.. “eff this, I am out.”

I should have prefaced all of this with: been there, done that. Got the really swoot t-shirt. I have had the “coffee meeting.” A month post the initial break up. And we both decided that what we had was worth giving a real honest shot. Only half of us wasn’t being honest, and it left the other one of us.. just doing shots. The bickering went on. The lies went on. And in the end.. the last sip.. we both agreed our “coffee” had gotten stale.

Once coffee’s gone stale, there’s no bringing it back from the dead. Its flat, its bland, there’s no aroma. It’s simply a cup of dirty water. You can put all the cream and fancy sweeteners in a cup of freshly brewed black coffee, but if the coffee itself isn't quality stuff or its turned stale, it's still going to taste like crap.

Revisiting the past is just a bad idea, not only for myself, but for people in general. I’ve spent the past six months of my life cleaning up the mess the other half left behind, and I can finally say I’m on my way to being happy again. Bringing up old memories only sets you back. There aren’t enough psychological drugs or therapy sessions that would ever make my previous situation a viable one, so why even bother?.. Sure, I have my ups and downs, but time heals that. I’ve found myself again, and more importantly, I’ve surrounded myself with good people. People who deserve an honest chance to be a part of my life, and not one clouded by the cream in my stale cup of coffee. It’s not fair to drag a good person into my unresolved situation for the sake of not being lonely. In the end, they’ll simply be the innocent bystander in my mess. And I would never want to put someone through the same thing I’ve been through.

I guess it’s a good thing I don’t drink the stuff. I mean, if you’re looking for the rush there’s always soda, tea, and of course energy drinks. At least they don’t leave you with that awful breath that smells like two-day old bologna. And for this girl they certainly don’t bring about the bad memories like a cup of joe does.

There’s no doubt that the smell of freshly brewed coffee is comforting and familiar. But no matter how good it may smell, to this girl.. it has and always will taste like crap