The Quarter Century Crisis

There are many milestones we reach in our lives that open for us the next chapter in our existence. There are some that open with a fanfare and have you jumping for joy, while others have us fearing for our lives, and running to our plastic surgeons office.

First there was the obsession with the whole “getting to drive” thing. There was nothing like having your first taste of freedom, the kind where you roll your windows down, blare something other than your dad’s brand of classic rock, and say… “Screw you guys; I can drive myself to the mall.” No longer were you those kids loitering outside the movie theater, because now, you could come and go as you please. Take that officer.

Then, there was the whole “I’m a legal adult” thing. Congrats, now you can vote, be those teenagers giggling in the aisles of the porn store, buy your own cigarettes, and oh yeah, get arrested and be put in jail … and your parents can’t come bail your ass out.

Finally, there was the “Yes sir, I’d like another… and sure you can see my ID” thing. You’d flash that baby everywhere you went, because now.. the picture was actually yours, and you no longer needed to convince your older brother’s friends the merits of buying you beer. And you suddenly began to wake up with many more headaches than you used to.

Sigh. Is it just me, or have these supposed landmark moments of our lives have gotten progressively a whole lot less significant as we have gotten older?.. Or seriously, is it REALLLLLLY just me?... Have I gotten to the age where I stop counting birthdays???..

As I looked into the mirror at my one year older self, I realized I was staring gravity in the face. What were these lines underneath my eyes? Why did my ass suddenly seem to belong in a sir mix a lot video? And what the @#$! are THOSE??????????..

There they were, like a tombstone marking the end of my youth, two grey hairs. There is absolutely no frickin' way this was happening to me. Surely, I had to just be going blond. I mean, I always thought I had blond moments, and at least now I would have an excuse. But alas. upon further examination, it was concluded they were in fact… GREY hairs.

Calm down Jenn. Seriously, there is no reason to panic. After all, you have been under an enormous amount of stress as of late. So why don’t you just grab those tweezers, rip them out and no one will ever have to know.

WAIT!... Doesn’t everyone say that if you rip out one, two grow in its place???.. Pshhhh…

Silly old wives tale. And damn it. I am NOT old.

I guess I could just leave them there. But then, what would all the guys say?.. I like older women??.. You have the same color hair as my grandmother??.. Yeah, total game killer. These babies HAD to go.

One box of chocolate brown hair color, and a super long shower later, I emerged a newer, bolder, and certainly younger looking version of myself.

“Notice anything?” I asked my parents as I did a quick spin for approval.

“You got a new outfit??” my mom asked.

“Nooooooo, what about you dad???”

My father just stared at me blankly, as he like most men wouldn’t notice if I dressed in a clown costume, so long as I didn’t come home with any weird tattoos or crazy piercings. Sigh. MEN.

Maybe I had just over reacted. Maybe I wasn’t really getting older. Maybe, just maybe I had forgotten how to have fun and just be a kid again.

Your twenties are supposed to be the best years of your life, right?.. Or at least that is what everyone tells you anyway. So why had the first half of my twenties slipped away from me seemingly in one big blur??

Why was everyone so obsessed with age anyway?.. It’s just a number. And you’re only as old as you feel. And on most days, I felt just fine. In fact, I feel better than fine. I feel twenty something and fabulous.

Suddenly the lines around my eyes had diminished into nothing. Sir Mix A Lot videos seemed a helluva lot more en vogue. And Jenn Sterger?.. Was back to her old rockstar self.

Oh… and the grey hairs, you ask?.. those bitches still gotta go.. Sorry George Clooney and Brett Favre, there are certain fashion trends no girl should ever touch.


ADMIN COMMENT:

Happy birthday, Jenn!!! Nothing better than a Saturday birthday, so enjoy the birthday weekend...Best of luck to the 'Noles and the Jets!!

PS: Hope you enjoyed the pics I added.. :)